What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

no

What did catwoman say to batman? meow.

Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

A priest a rabbi and a minister are all standing at the gates of heaven. Us mortal beings can only conjecture what might've have taken place.

What do you call a blonde with a diploma? Dum,because blondes are still dum

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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