What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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banana

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I personally really do not know

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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What did the Mexican overdose on to die. Nothing, he died of old age

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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