Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

thumb_up thumb_down +12

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Fart

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops