Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down +12

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the people say to each other when they ate the orange? Orange you glad I didn't eat you:) HAHAHAA orange you glad that I am good at telling jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Fart

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops