Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven was a registered sex offender.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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men

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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hi

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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