roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

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A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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A man walks into a bar... he is blind so it isn't funny

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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When I get aroused I get a solid snake

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Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho Cheese! Anti Joke: What do you call cheese that's not yours? Sally's Cheese

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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