I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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Is your refrigerator running. Yes. Good, then I don't need to call an electrician.

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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I pooped.

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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http://richardfigures.com/

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This statement is false.

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knock knock no ones home

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

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What's funnier than 24? My life.

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Why did Sara fell off her swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sara

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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