What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

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Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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A walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Not getting a response, the disoriented bartender realizes he was talking to his own reflection in the mirror at the back of the bar.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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