Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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if you read this you are gay

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead who sit next to each other in college. They are good students and regularly do their homework.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

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That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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