A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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if you read this you are gay

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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Ted Haggard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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