Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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