A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Sonic

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What is the difference between peanut butter andd jam! Jam is made from crushed fruit and gelatine while peanut butter is made from finely ground peanuts and is often sweetened with sugar.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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