Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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all your base are belong to mark

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How did th-A fridge.

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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