Why did the ship get lost at sea? The captain was a piece of bread.

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

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why did the chicen cross the road? because it saw an excellent deal on hair products on the other side of the street.

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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Whats the difference between Amanda and Brittaney spears? Nothing, they are both worthless sluts

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Roses are red violits are blue I have ADHD do you like cats?

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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