Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a woman leaves the kitchen.......

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops