What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Three logicians were travelling up to Scotland in a train. They saw a black cow standing parallel to the train tracks; the first sign of life since crossing the border. The first logician says "Oh, so they do have black cows in Scotland." The second logician says "No, they have at least one black cow in Scotland." The third logician says "No, they have at least one cow in Scotland, one side of which, at least, is black."

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

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Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

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What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Why don't you see elephants find in trees? Because most trees can't hold an elephants weight.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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Female rights.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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Knock knock who's thare Your mom She's dead you bitch

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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