Lets go Yankees

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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Q: What's funnier than Women's Rights? A: Nothing.

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

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Why are Jews always so clean? Because they never come out of the shower.

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Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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What did one manicotti say to the other manicotti? I doubt we'll ever know.

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops