What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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I <3 Hitler

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

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womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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