A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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That's what SHE said!

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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