Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a toothpick

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

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What do you call a man with no friends? Terry

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

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A women's opinion.

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops