An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

thumb_up thumb_down -8

PATHETIC

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Let's make like your mother and walk out on your family during pre-adolescence.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -150

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -162

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops