If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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Q: How mature are you on a scale of 1 to 100? A: 69. :)

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PENIS THAT IS ALL!

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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