Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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170

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why did the bear eat meat? he was hungry

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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