I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops