An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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