the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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68

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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if you read this you are gay

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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