Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +79

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and sticky? a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

thumb_up thumb_down -157

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +190

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops