What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops