Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

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What do Batman and Harry Potter have in common? Their parents are dead.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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Yo mama is so fat she could be a plus size model because she's big and hot.

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A brunette is walking up the side of a river. She sees a blonde on the other side. "How did you get to the other side?" asked the brunette. "I used the bridge just a few more kilometers up" the blonde replies.

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

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why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

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Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree? A. You get a ladder and help him down

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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