Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops