What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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What's 50 feet tall, wears glasses and plays dungeons and dragons. A nerd, I lied about the 50 feet part.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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What do you call a blank white sheet of paper? Printer paper most likely

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Hillary Clinton

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whats white and pointless? chalk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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