What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

My mom is such a bitch that no one will date her!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!TRUE STORY!! :D

How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

What do you call man who travels on foot? a pedestrian

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

What happened when the man crossed the road? He lived happily ever after because he looked both ways for traffic.

;iub

Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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