You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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so the weather's nice...

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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Knock knock.. Who's there? Breaking. Breaking who? Im breaking up with you.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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Q. What's brown and circular? A. MEATBALLS!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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