What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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Q: Why doesn't the Mexican belong in St. Louis? A: Because he ran away from home, his family lives in Kansas City.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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Carrot fingers

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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Nice belt.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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What is the difference between a blond and a red-head? They have different hair colors.

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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69

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, a dead baby is a horrible sight and shouldn't be laughed at.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Sally with prosthetic arms.

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Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Walnut

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Knock knock --Come in.

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Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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