When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Potassium? K.

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A dozen burly firefighters ready to stick it in your pooper

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Yo mama smells so bad that she has no friends and killed herself.

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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you first

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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cancer

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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