you first

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops