A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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the love boat

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops