Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

kill yourself

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Cancer.

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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