Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

A blind, black guy walks into a building. Unfortunately it was a secret KKK building and they beat him, raped him and left him to die. Luckily he was found alive and transported to the hospital. To bad the hospital was bombed by Al Queda.

Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

So you into art? You been to Louvre by the way?

What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

get in the car.

Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

William wright is Gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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