That's what SHE said!

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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