A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender looks down at him and says "Hey, we have a drink named after you." the grasshopper looks up at the bartender...then proceeds to hop along because Grasshoppers can't communicate with humans. Then several of the bars patrons looked at the bartender, worried for his mental health.

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Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Why did Bob throw butter out the window, Because he is mentally retarded.

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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You're so fat. Well maybe to kids born in Africa.

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there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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What did your mom say after she went sky diving? Nothing, her parachute didn't open

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbit were seated next to each other on an airplane. They all had to pay for lunch.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops