How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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HOLY SHIT ITS AN AIRPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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MOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Why was the boy running There was a giraffe chasing him

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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Q. Why is the road black? A. One hundred million dollars!

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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