A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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What's the deal with brown?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

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Why didn't Rebecca Black take the bus? Because she would have had a heart attack with all of the seat choices.

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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I have suicidal thoughts

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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That's what SHE said!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me. Me Who? Me. Uh.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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