How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. He hits his head on it and is rushed to the hospital,only to discover the floor drenched in triceratops shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the deal with brown?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they're purple That's why they're called "violets"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a black person call black friday? Friday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops