I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

I dont have a girlfriend

Christianity

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

Sammi suck kyles chode

why did the chicken cross the road? there was chicken food on the other side

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

why did the ginger cross the road to go to hell

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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