Doctor, people dont notice me anymore, doctor?... HEEEEEEEEEEEY!

Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

Barbara Streisand

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off the cliff? ........………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………...........................................................................………………………………….…………….........................................................................………………,………………..................................................................... .

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

Knock Knock! Come in..

What is it worse than a bee sting ? -Two bee stings What 's worse than two bee stings ? -The holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust ? -3 bee stings

Ryan Holden is a faggot.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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