Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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170

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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why did the jew drop his coin? beacuse a nazi killed him before he put it in his pocket

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???????????? WTF?

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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