So a man is shopping on black Friday...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats plastic and phonie a phone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops