Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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To mamas so fat shes fat

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Sonic

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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