Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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PATHETIC

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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