What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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"Hheheheh Hey Butthead"- "Were Gonna Score!"

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops