Cool Brian

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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What's the difference between a book. A tree's leaves hit the trash cans

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what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it didn't the hunter shot it

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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