what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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Seven

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whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops