Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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all hail based mark

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

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what is friendship? when friends go on a ship

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LAST COMMENT? DISGUSTIIIING! NO YOU TAKE IT!

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Hi what I lug you

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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Hi

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Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

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what happens every day? People die

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The MLS

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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