Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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Knock knock Who's there? A robber Oh

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops